Blake Bittorf

I know I talk too much. It has always been an insecurity I use to attack myself. Especially when I feel embarrassed, whether because I have misspoken or been misunderstood. Ironically, I actually love to talk. Sometimes I can talk myself into oblivion. Complete and utter senseless nonsense. Don’t let it be true. When I was younger I wasn’t totally self-aware of the impact words have on anyone who is listening; however, the one speaking is not always in control. You need to adapt to your audience, which is exactly what I try my best to do. Heaven knows I bleed every day, but I am not a martyr. I am a soul loitering with a purpose. When we slip out of childhood we begin our adaptation, our survival and stalk which we use to stir our convictions of the world and interactions around us. I forget about my insecurity often when I meet new people. I fall into the type of excitement that can best be described as a double edged sword. One side cuts my vulnerability and the other, carves out the impression. Not always having to do with that of the person I am talking to, the impression replays in my head long after the conversation ends. What did they think of me? Was I too much? Did I sound stupid? Loitering with purpose demands vulnerability and courage. Vulnerable enough to be wrong, and to learn. And courage to take a chance and see the world from a different perspective. I wander through each day with an impression of people who have fallen in and out of my life, and will always be grateful of the lessons they’ve given me. And that, my dear friend, is the essence of loitering with purpose.